Do Scanners Have Bad Memories?

This exchange just took place on my bulletin board (at www.barbarasher.com/boards):


Do Scanners Have Bad Memories?

shparks on Sun Oct 26, 2008 4:01

I have always had a crummy memory. I don't recall a lot of specific details about my childhood. I am always forgetting to do things, or forgetting ideas that I had, or forgetting why I walked into a room. I have been wondering if the reason I have so much trouble with remembering things is because, as a Scanner, I always have too many things on my mind to keep straight.

Do other Scanners have that problem?

......................
skannie on Sun Oct 26, 2008 3:23

Yes, I do. It's otherwise known as absent-mindedness, and is supposed to be a sign of great intelligence
shanTRAnex.com
European Life Blog
.........................


I liked that, especially the 'sign of great intelligence' thing, and try to keep it in mind since I too, have a bad memory. Well, about some things. I do happen to know all the words to all the pop songs ever written.

But I can't find things.

I was always like this, even as a kid. I could never find things I was looking for even if they were right in front of me. Especially in closets. And drawers. And on shelves. Later, when I was older I realized this extended to glove compartments and supermarkets. Bookstores, too, but so many books on the shelves are terrifically interesting that you forget what you were looking for and enjoy what you found. Which is not a bad way to live, actually.

But back then, my mom would say, after finding the missing thing, "If it were a snake it would have bitten you," which, as a small child, always gave me pause, though I was never entirely sure why.

My dad would say, 'Take your eyes in your hands!" Now, that fascinated me. I could envision it and would hold out my hands and move them around, pretending I had eyes in my palms. It was very jolly, but as I grew a little older I realized it didn't make much sense. It might have been handy for some people to have their eyes in their hands (especially for looking behind and under things in dark closets, in case there was a mouse or a spider there), but not for me, not with my eyes, because I wouldn't have been able to see what was in front of them no matter where they were stationed. (Now that I'm all grown up I have a hunch he was translating from Russian or Yiddish and it lost something in the translation.)

The discussion on my bulletin board continued:
..........................

kashtanka on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:20

I'm forgetful, too. I'll get to places and have no memory of driving there. A woman I know was talking about traffic grievances, and I said "I always have too much on my mind to give it much attention."

Another thing. I forget what's on my activity schedule all the time. A friend will ask "Are you looking forward to next Saturday?" There's an awkward silence and then I mumble a few words in hopes that she'll tell me what the activity is. Dangerous business that is.
...........................

Now that's fixable. I'll have to tell kashtanka: Use iCal!! I had the same problem when, years after it appeared on my latest mac, I decided to try iCal. It's super. Sometimes I write thoughts in it, or write something I've already done and check it off and feel very productive. Sometimes I even start a journal, and once I decided to write three things I was happy about, and planned to do that every evening, but I forgot to continue.

Still, it's great. See, you write in it and then later it pops up on your screen to remind you to do something exactly when you told it to. If you click on it, all the details appear as well as long notes you wrote yourself about what to bring or say or do. When it comes to appointments, it's like magic.

Or should be. Actually, the little box that pops up goes in front of whatever you were reading and no matter where you move it, it's always in the way and becomes very irritating. But you do look at it, and if it reminds you of something it would have been disastrous to forget, your irritation is replaced with panic, which is good. Not pleasant, but good.

I'm also fond of Resnooze! It's really nice. You write yourself a memo whenever you have a great idea, or there's something you should do over and over (like, 'remember to look in that other email account,' or 'show up for that teleclass you're running,' or 'write the newsletter already!') and they appear and re-appear in your inbox daily, weekly or monthly until you do them. Or until you stop seeing them. Because when something is in your inbox repeatedly, it sort of becomes a thing and subject to the invisibility problem. You don't even open it after awhile. It turns into wallpaper and when you see it you don't give the subject line your full attention. You wonder faintly if it's spam and you delete it. Over and over. Until you figure out how to turn it off.

So, if you know a system for finding things when you're certain they're right in front of you but you can't see them anyway, just let me know. In the meantime, here's a law of nature that will help you avoid frenzy:

It is only possible to find things when you no longer need them. Give up and do something else.

And its corollary, equally true: Once you no longer need things, you will probably find them. It won't make you feel good, of course, because it's kind of like they're making fun of you. But humiliation fades faster than despair, so it's not all bad.

I'll let you know if we come up with something. Feel free to contribute any good ideas you might have.

Solitude, Italy and new good old friends.

Got back from the WriteSpeak retreat in Venice Beach only a month ago but it feels like I've been home a long time -- not long enough to clean up and back up my inbox, but I did a whole lot of organizing and tossing and I'm feeling superbly virtuous.

And now there are suitcases and boxes open and things folded and in baskets and on couches -- all in categories: linen jackets, pants, sandals for the stone masseria in Puglia's warmish weather, classier woolens and knits and shoes for Toulouse (it's France, after all!), and my favorites: down vest and sweatpants and warm socks for the good homey old village in Cappadocia (www.kilimwomen.com). I've never been to Toulouse, and I can remember when I thought anyone who went to Istanbul had probably been to the moon, too. But now, it's a nice place I go. Mystery gone. Familiarity and comfort replace it.

First destination, the retreat for Scanners in Puglia (photos at www.geniuspress.com) - which just about my favorite thing to do. I hope I'll be able to continue doing them overseas, but it gets trickier every year. Still, the emails we've been tossing back and forth indicate that there's going to be another remarkable group of people. One of the unexpected things that come out of retreats are lifelong friendships, and I'm one of the beneficiaries. It's a surprise.



Most of the last 30 years I've worked and lived solo in my home and always loved it. I never feel lonely because I'm in New York, and all you have to do (if you feel like a New Yorker) is go outdoors and you're surrounded by cousins. You get to say hello, of course, they probably do that in Dubuque, but you also get to boss people around. In cold weather I say things like, 'Put your hat on!' to strangers and any time of year I say 'Quit looking for quarters in public phones, Gerald, everyone will think you're crazy!' to people I know by name. People say things to me, too. It's something you either like or you don't.

There's New York when I'm outdoors, and then, for the last 20 years or so, there's been the internet. Well, telnet bulletin boards, and then email and then my own website and bulletin board and then Yahoo groups and now Twitter, I've been in pig heaven, people-wise, with people to communicate with whenever I want, which is pretty much whenever I'm home and awake.

When it comes to interaction, I've never loved the telephone -- when it rang I was wary; when I owed a call I felt burdened -- but I love to write emails. And bulletin boards are better than a crowded theater lobby between acts -- because everybody knows you, and you can listen in or join in to any conversation, and the conversations are usually more interesting than any I ever heard in a theater lobby. And, unlike the theater, this lobby is open whenever I feel like going there. (I can even watch the film of a play first, if I like.) Cocooning has been a personal gift from the universe to me.

But getting to know people face to face in a retreat setting, that's just a jolly thing, unlike other things, especially in an old, stone fortress with secret gardens, and a hidden chapel, and cappuccino & crossants like they don't seem to make it anywhere else. Sitting around the outdoor tables (plastic, I must admit) talking or walking among the short, twisted trunks of ancient olive trees with one person now, someone else later, waking up early and hitching a ride to the pebble beaches and crystal water, or to the internet cafe in the little medieval town nearby -- all the time with this small group of unusual people --is more like being at a reunion than just a vacation, because you sense that these people are going to be old friends.

I'm not the only one who says this. One Scanner retreat is having its second annual reunion in Tuscany this week. The September 07 retreat just had its first reunion in California in August. Just last month, one of our Scanners passed away unexpectedly and we're all grieving because it feels like we knew him all our lives. On Yahoo mail we tell stories of how he had achieved his dream, and pushed everyone to go after theirs.

There are happy things, too. (Our pharmacist from Germany is taking clown lessons!)

I admit the Write-Speak retreats (http://writeyourownsuccessstory.com) are also full of amazing people and they stay together too, working together in teams, cheering each other on to their goals (I'm always returning to snoop in their group emails). But most of the WriteSpeakers confess to being Scanners as well. And Scanners are just plain wonderful people.

If you don't know yet, a Scanner is an eclectic, someone who calls himself-herself a dilettante, a jack of all trades, that sort of derogatory label. I call them multi-talented, generous, intelligent and fascinating people. I wrote a whole book about them and found them to be so amazing, I started the retreats so I could get to know them better. One thing about Scanners (aside from how hard they've been on themselves until now) is that they've rarely been around other Scanners. That's a revelation. But I'll talk about that another time.

Enough socializing. Gotta get back to packing.

When summer turns to fall, where do Scanners go?

SUMMER'S OVER

I know a lot of people who are sad about that, but I couldn't be happier. I'm not crazy about the heat and I love action, so fall is my favorite season. Everything wakes up. I was born in Detroit and when the air got crisp and the leaves fell on lawns and streets and we got fresh pencils and new shoes for school, I always got excited.

11 years later, we moved to Los Angeles and there was no way of knowing what season it was. People here in the east say that California is the place where Labor Day never comes. I finally know what they mean. In California I never would have undersstood what that meant. "Labor Day? What's that?"

My first Xmas there was sunny and hot and I was stunned to see huge cardboard cutouts of Santa and the reindeer strung across Wilshire Boulevard between tall, skinny palm trees. My mother was singing with joy, but I was offended. But I couldn't remember cold weather and snow somehow so I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Everything was slow and the same. It was like living indoors.

I kept moving around after college looking for something and when I finally moved to New York as a grown woman. That's when I got it: Los Angeles doesn't do weather, it does climate. I had to figure out as an adult how to adapt to the seasons, watching other people, looking at kids in the playgrounds and windows of department stores. The crisp autumn weather made the child in me happy, and putting away summer clothes and pulling out winter clothes made the grownup in me happy. It was like visiting a beautiful new world and relearning a language I had forgotten.

To my family back in California, this sort of thing just looked like extra work. They're real Californians. Me, I love work. Of course, most of the work I do is work I really enjoy. Which reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, from Spider Robinson, a science fiction writer beloved by many: He said,

"It took me better than a quarter century to learn, the hard way, that hard work at something you want to be doing is the most fun you can have out of bed...to learn that the smart [person] finds ways to make everything he does be work; to learn that 'leisure' time is truly pleasurable (indeed tolerable) only to the extent that is is subconscious grazing for information with which to infuse new, better work."

Which brings me to one of my favorite kinds of work: running retreats.


BACK FROM WS RETREAT

I just got back from my third retreat for Writer-Speakers. Once again it has drawn another amazing group of people who are already supporting each other and moving forward on their plans to have a book and a speaking career within the next year.

In my inbox I find that 3 more people from the previous WriteSpeak programs have finished their books and one has gotten a very big speaking gig (we're holding her hand -- which is shaking -- but she's already done this a dozen times in the class and will be fantastic. And she'll soon be rich enough to take us all out to dinner to thank us :-)
REUNIONS

On a short break I met with Scanners from last spring's Puglia Retreat at their first reunion. We ate at a huge, noisy Italian restaurant and shouted over the music and noise as I heard about their progress and met their partners. I don't remember enjoying any holiday get-togethers with family and friends more. This month I'll regrettably miss another Scanner's reunion, (of the first Scanner retreat ever, from Corfu, Greece in 2006) at its second reunion in Tuscany. (I'll be busy running a new Scanner's Retreat in southern Italy.)

One of the expected rewards from both WriteSpeak and Scanner's retreats is the ongoing, loving, unending enthusiasm and support that come out of the days we work together and the following months and years of emails and monthly conference calls, watching and helping everyone move forward to exciting personal and professional goals. But the unexpected reward is turning out to be the creation of lifelong friendships. I've never seen anything like it.


SCANNER RETREAT IN PUGLIA
SEPT 26 - OCT 1, 2008
LAST CALL!

Now it's almost time to pack again, to head out for the next Scanner's Retreat in Puglia, Italy (Sep 26 - Oct 1). Three spaces have just become available, so if you want to join me and your tribe of Scanners for the experience of a lifetime, be sure to let me know as soon as you can. If you ever want to attend, do it now if you can. I hope to do others in future, but I've got a book that's been waiting for me to write it, and I'm planning to start in October. If the Scanner retreat is right for you, seize the day.

And if, for some reason, you have no idea what I'm talking about and would like to know, head over to GeniusPress and read all about it, see some great photos of the lovely 16th cenury masseria we pretty much have to ourselves, and sign up.

If you want to hear my recent radio show in which producer and Greece/Italy-man-on-the-ground Matt and I talk about Puglia Scanner retreats, click here and listen away: Refuse to Choose! (or What Do I Do When I Want to Do Everything?)

And if you want to hear the song that always goes through my mind when I know I'm heading back to Puglia, listen to this and fall in love.

I've been fighting with a tempermental mail program all of this Labor Day weekend, so first come will be first served. If you're a Scanner who wants to finally become focused and get moving in the best direction your life can take, I'd love to work with you.

FAQ about the Scanner Book: In the states it's called 'Refuse to Choose,' but 'What Do I Do When I Want To Do Everything' is the same book when published in New Zealand, England, Australia, and South Africa. The book is also popular in Germany (called 'Du musst dich nicht entscheiden, wenn du tausend Träume hast'). We've had Scanners from every one of those countries at our retreats. Add to the rich mix of all those cultures all the many interests inside the head of every Scanner, and each retreat is like the best birthday party in the world.


ANNOUNCEMENTS

Patty Newbold is half-way through the first-ever telephone Success Team and it's a triumph! You can find out more at . She might invite you to the Idea Party in the seventh week if there's still time.

I'm starting to do teleclasses on Resistance again, and have one scheduled now. The proceeds go to the Kilim e-Commerce School of Ortahisar, Turkey. The details are

Barbara

Where does a Scanner find other Scanners?

It's not easy, witness all the mail I get from readers of Refuse to Choose thanking me because they thought they were the only people as peculiar as they are. When a Scanner is surrounded by other Scanners it's a lovely thing to behold. Imagine: no critics, no one saying you're flakey or lazy.

If you can come to the September retreat, do it. I have a few spaces left and the Masseria in Puglia, Italy is so beautiful. Head over to www.geniuspress.com to see photos and get an explanation of what a Scanner is, and what we do at the retreat. I'm heading out for L.A. where one group from a year ago is having a reunion and we're meeting at the beach in a few days. The first ever Scanner retreat 3 years ago is now having their second reunion in Tuscany. It's like they found their families. Which is good because Scanners aren't only interesting and interested, they're almost always good people. Amazing.

But if you really are in the dark as to what a Scanner is, they call themselves things like:

Eclectic Expert, Magnificent Mind-Changer, Delightful Dilettante, Jolly Jack-of-all-trades, Precocious Plate-Spinner or any victims of repeated hit-and-run obsessions; the intellectual, spiritual & emotional heirs of Aristotle, da Vinci, Goethe, Ben Franklin, Isadora Duncan, and George Plimpton.

Yes, there are great careers for you. I remember a High-Speed Indecisive who got a dream job, some years ago. Leave a comment and I'll be glad to tell you what it was but got to get to sleep to get up to fly out of here in the morning. (He loved it -- for about 2 years -- and then moved on to (I hope) an even better job.

Where does a Scanner find other Scanners?

At a book club! (Sound of hand hitting my own forehead). 

I'm writing this on September 1, 2014. 

Who knew back in '08 that the first book club (it was for I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was) would be so incredible. I was blown away at the depth of understanding members got from doing the exercises together, and the warmth and support that developed over the 16 weeks of that first book club.

That's why I decided the second book club should be about Refuse to Choose:

Scanners are too often alone.

There are places to meet online, I'm happy to say. Facebook is great, and so is my bulletin board (for meeting Scanners, that is) - and LinkedIn and more.

But the 6-day retreats I ran in Greece, Italy and France, where Scanners could really get to know each other, and discuss over long days for almost an entire week the difficulties faced by all Scanners and all people with lots of interests, lots of curiosity and creativity and intelligence are no more. So many of the people who attended them - from 2006 until 2013 - have stayed lifetime friends.

But now, 6 years later, my age and health won't let me run them anymore.

So Where does a Scanner find other Scanners? Ho ho!!! At this book club!!

That's why I'm so excited about the book club! (I'm driving Patty crazy sending announcements before the links are ready!)

You're going to meet other Scanners on a deeper level than you could anywhere else, and you'll be solving your own problems, getting your questions answered, finding out how to wrangle all those interests and talents, worries and difficulties. You'll know like you haven't realized before that you are all right, better than all right. You'll find the people who 'get you.' Why? Because you'll be doing all the Refuse to Choose exercises with them, you'll be commenting and replying to each other, and having discussions right on the page.

And you'll be doing it for 16 weeks.

And you'll spend (including travel and tuition) about 100 times less money than it took to come to a retreat.

You're going to know these people by the time you complete the Refuse to Choose Book Club.

Isolation is the dreamkiller, and Scanners are so often alone. That's got to stop.

It's 7pm on September 1, 2014. If you're on my mailing list,  look for the newsletter that will sent you to the site -- any minute.

If you have any problems, come over to barbarasclub.com and holler!

(I'm still waiting to see if I can get notified when you leave a comment on this blog!)

Hi guys. I've missed you.

:-)